====================================================================== Charlie Sheen: You're watching VBS -- where you could do a lot of -- you know -- WINNING! ====================================================================== (fade from black) (audience cheers)
Doug: All right, friends, time to wrap up another year of mind-reading and second guessing with the Cyber-Phone Match extended version. David Barkow's name was drawn to play the Cyber-Phone Match. Hello, David. David B.: Hello everyone. Doug: David, you've just won CY$500 and will have a chance to win more by trying to match as many of our nine stars as you can. Each time you match a star, you win another CY$100. However, if you manage to match all nine, your total winnings are augmented to CY$2500. Then, you'll play for ten times the current earnings -- which could be CY$25,000. Even if you don't run the table, you could still play for 25-grand with a lucky match of one particular star. For now, David and all nine stars, please respond to this. Confucious say, "Japanese man who spend all of his money on his mistress has no << BRANK >> for his wife." (audience laughs) (think music plays)
Doug: OK, they're all set. David, the question again. Confucious say, "Japanese man who spend all of his money on his mistress has no << BRANK >> for his wife." David B.: Money. (loud groans from the crowd) Doug: Ohhhhh dear. I sense a lot of generic/specific mismatches. Let's just go through the motions. Jason, we start with you. Jason: This has no potential to become offensive. At all. I think this is what we call a Frasier joke. Get out your dictionaries. Japanese man who spend all of his money on his mistress has no... +----------------+ | YEN | | | +----------------+ Jason: ...for his wife. (audience cheers) (buzz) Doug: *There's* the answer. Yen is the unit of currency in Japan. Yen can also be synonymous with desire. Hence why we can't match general "money" with specific "yen". That said, Dana, what came to your mind? Dana: (card) Yen. (more cheers) (buzz) Doug: More yen. Tom? Tom: He have no (flip) DIME for his wife. (buzz) (a few boos from the crowd) Doug: Nope. Again, dime's too specific to match money. Middle row now and Philip. Confucious say, "Japanese man who spend all of his money on his mistress has no << BRANK >> for his wife." Philip: (card) Sex. (audience laughs) (buzz) Doug: Kinda on the right track -- but no. Chad? Chad: He wouldn't have much of a... [YEN] Chad: ...for his wife. (audience cheers) (buzz) Doug: Another yen. To Mark now. Mark: (card) YEN (more cheers) (buzz) Doug: More yen from the panel. Now to the bottom row and Ryan. Confucious say, "Japanese man who spend all of his money on his mistress has no << BRANK >> for his wife." Ryan: The only thing I could think of was... +=====+ | Yen | +=====+ (more cheers) (buzz) Doug: They still like the definitive answer. Dean? Dean: (card) +-----+ | YEN | +-----+ (more cheers) (buzz) Doug: Oh, dear, David, don't you wish you'd thought of yen now? Maybe you've matched your namesake over here. David Hammond of Net Spin-Off fame, last chance for "money". David H.: Before I reveal my answer, Doug. I would just like to say thank you to you and Ryan for having me back. With this appearance, I have now been in every square in the panel except yours, Ryan's and Chad's. Doug: Ah, interesting fact indeed. David H.: I may be going off base here but the young grasshopper doesn't have any..... +-------+ | LOVE | +-------+ David H.: ...for his wife. (scattered applause) (buzz) Doug: Love, a dime, sex and lots of yen -- but no money. Well, the matter of a secret square for this Cyber-Phone Match is a moot point. However, who was in said square?
YEN | YEN | DIME
SEX | YEN | YEN
YEN | YEN | LOVEDavid B.'s answer: MONEY
(buzz) Doug: Mark Sinsabaugh -- who was in the majority with yen. Well, David, you still have CY$500 -- and we still go forward with a Head-To-Head question worth ten times what you have presently or CY$5000. Please choose one of our nine stars to play with for the Head-To-Head Match. David B.: I choose David.
Doug: David's gonna try to match David for the five-large. David Hammond, you'll write down your answer. David Barkow, when he's done, I'll call for your answer. And here's the question.________PLUS Doug: << BLANK >> Plus. That's P-L-U-S. << BLANK >> Plus. (MG-HSH Super Match think music plays)
(ding) Doug: OK, David Barkow. The David here in the studio is ready with his answer. We call for yours. << BLANK >> Plus. David B.: Password Plus (audience cheers) Doug: I have a feeling we're going to end on a winning note. David Hammond, are we making your namesake CY$5000 richer? David H.: One of my all-time favorites. +----------+ | PASSWORD | +----------+
(dings; MG-HSH music plays; audience applause) Doug: All right! Great job David and David. David Barkow, hang on the line and we'll get that check headed your way for CY$5500 total. Congratulations. (audience cheers) (MG-HSH theme plays) Doug: Words of thanks to all our stars, contestants, writers and all of you looking in for making it another fun year of NMG-HSH. Your support keeps us going. We'll see you next year. 'Til then, make it a great holiday season with the loved ones you treasure -- and join us back here in the new year or else you're << BLANKED >>. Ryan: I agree. Glenn: If you'd like tickets to see the Net Match Game - Hollywood Squares Hour, send a self addressed stamped envelope to...
Glenn: ... and in addition to their cyber-cash winnings, tonight's runners-up will receive... Just in time for the holidays, a generous supply of red and green M&M's. The candy that melts in your mouth -- not in your hand. M&M's. Franco-American Ravioli-O's and Spaghetti-O's. The neat kid's treats you can eat with a spoon. Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O's and Ravioli-O's. A case of Turtle Extra Car Wax. Turtle Wax gives the hard shell finish for lasting beauty. Turtle Wax. A LobsterGram gift certificate. LobsterGram is a unique way to send great gourmet gifts of succulent lobster. Shipped fresh from LobsterGram. Shout Wipes -- available in convenient carry along packs. Want a tough stain out? Unleash the power and shout it out. And a member of our studio audience will receive a gift certificate toward the purchase of any item listed in the world famous Spiegel catalog. Spiegel -- with over 50,000 quality items offering value, selection and savings. Spiegel, Chicago, 60609. (credits roll)
