MG Round 1 Question A

 

 

(audience cheers) (Doug presses button revealing Round 1 questions
on the toaster)

Doug: Before the show, we drew straws.  Since Steve's sketch of the
straw was judged best -- (light laughter from the crowd) -- he picks
first.  So, A or B, Steve?

Steve: I'll take A, Doug.

 

 

Doug: (grabs A) A he wants, A he gets.  (walks to panel)  All right,
class, here's the first assignment.  David Letterman said...

(scattered laughter from the crowd)

Doug: I haven't even finished yet.  Let me take this again from 
the top.  David Letterman said, "Man, I had the weirdest dream last 
night."

(more laughter from the crowd)

Doug: Don't make me stop this car!  (more laughter from the crowd)
I've done this part of the show for -- what -- ten years?  I've 
never had this kind of a reaction to a first question.  (sighs)
Let's try this one more time.

David Letterman said, "Man, I had the weirdest dream last night.  
In the dream, Britney Spears became President of the United States
 -- and her Vice-President was P. Diddy.  What's worse?  Her first 
order of business was nominating << BLANK >> to the Supreme Court."
 
(think music plays) (scattered laughter and applause)

 

 

 

 

  

(stars write)

 

 

 

 

 

Doug: OK, Steve, they're all set.  First chance to get on the
scoreboard.

David Letterman said, "Man, I had the weirdest dream last night.  
In the dream, Britney Spears became President of the United States
 -- and her Vice-President was P. Diddy.  What's worse?  Her first 
order of business was nominating << BLANK >> to the Supreme Court."

Steve: Gene Rayburn always used to say, "Go with the first answer that 
comes to mind."  So I'm gonna say K-Fed, Kevin Federline.

(audience laughs and applauds)

Doug: Proof they can part company and still be friends?  Judge for yourself.
(a few groans from the crowd)  I just realized the pun myself.  I don't know
my own strength, sometimes.  In any event, let's go to the panel and see
if he can get on the scoreboard -- starting with Dane.

Dane: First off, Doug, I have to admit that this game is a lot different as a
panelist than it is as a contestant, but it IS an honor to ...

Doug: C'mon Dane, this is ONLY an hour show!

(audience laughs)

Dane: Okay okay, after all he DID say that Beyonce had the best video of ALL
TIME!!

[KANYE WEST]

(buzz) (a few boos from the crowd)

Doug: Obviously, you didn't adhere to the opening joke from Rich Jeffries.
(audience laughs)  Chad?

Chad: I dunno if Britney knows her well or anything but heck, she has 
experience being a Supreme!

[ DIANA ROSS ]

(buzz) (light applause)

Doug: Ah, cute -- but no match.

Jay: Well, I think a good answer would be that wild wild man...
 
[Kanye West]

(buzz) (more boos from the crowd)

Doug: Also didn't adhere to the opening joke from Rich.  Well, no matches
as we come down to Ryan.  David Letterman said, "Man, I had the weirdest 
dream last night.  In the dream, Britney Spears became President of the 
United States -- and her Vice-President was P. Diddy.  What's worse?  
Her first order of business was nominating << BLANK >> to the Supreme 
Court."

Ryan: Well, you named two music superstars in your question. So, logically, 
Britney would chose another music superstar for the Supreme Court. And, 
as far as I'm concerned there is no bigger superstar than...
 
+=============+
| Miley Cyrus |
+=============+ 

(buzz) (a few laughs and claps)

Doug: I see the logic.  Dusty?

Dusty: As I've already had one reference made to the late, great CNR, 
I should at least give one CNR-like answer... and it definitely makes 
for interesting opinion writing.

+-------+
| JUDGE |
|"DON'T |
|PEE ON |
+-------+

+-------+
|MY LEG |
|& TELL |
|ME IT'S|
+-------+

+-------+
|RAIN-  |
|  ING" |
| JUDY  |
+-------+

(buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)

Dusty: The best part would be when she gets upset because she's in the minority.

(more laughs)

Doug: Now *that* was my answer.  David, last chance for a match.

David: If Brittany was in the White House, she would appoint.....

---------
| K-FED |
---------

David: to the court!
 
(ding; audience applause)

Doug: And that's a match.

 

 

 

 

KANYE WEST | DIANA ROSS | KANYE WEST
MILEY CYRUS | JUDGE JUDY | K-FED

Steve's answer: KEVIN FEDERLINE

 

 

Doug: Steve has the first match in the game.  Robert, let's see if you
can equalize or take the lead.

MG ROUND 1 CONTINUES