MG round1questionB
Doug: (grabs B) David, your turn at bat now. Let's see how you do with B. Jeff Foxworthy said, "Yup, that Dumb Dora ain't smarter than a fifth grader. On my quiz show, when I asked her to name the current Vice President of the U.S., she said 'Dick << BLANK >>'."
(MG '7x cowbell think music plays) (cat calls from the sickos in the audience) Doug: Again, the sick minds are in the audience -- not here on stage.
Doug: First round's not over and I'm ready for a drink. (audience laughs) David, the question again... Jeff Foxworthy said, "Yup, that Dumb Dora ain't smarter than a fifth grader. On my quiz show, when I asked her to name the current Vice President of the U.S., she said 'Dick << BLANK >>'." David: Dick Clark (audience cheers) Doug: Good answer. Anyone named Dick... (sickos in the audience laugh) ...sheesh, why do I bother? (more laughter from the crowd) Anyone with the first name of Dick is a good answer. Will, we start with you again. Will: Well, she only went on a Jeff Foxworthy show cause she was big with NASCAR; she thought the VP was Dick PETTY! (buzz) (a few boos) Doug: Well, he prefers "*Richard* Petty" -- but I see how you're making the Foxworthy connection. After all, if you can name everyone on Kyle Petty's pit crew but you don't know the names of your U.S. senators, you might be a redneck. (audience laughs) Jay? Jay: (card) +-------+ | CLARK | +-------+ (ding; audience applause) Doug: And there's our first match in the game. Over to Dave. Dave: Not to brag, but I spent four years at a two-year college, so that should speak to the level of my intelligence as well. (audience laughs) Dave: Since this is Dumb Dora we're talking about, she not only managed to not know who the Vice President is, she wasn't even on the same field. She said *flip* DICK BUTKUS, the legend himself. (buzz) (sickos in the crowd hoot and holler) Doug: Help! (audience laughs) Let's come on down to Ryan. Jeff Foxworthy said, "Yup, that Dumb Dora ain't smarter than a fifth grader. On my quiz show, when I asked her to name the current Vice President of the U.S., she said 'Dick ...'." Ryan: (card) +=============+ | Dick Martin | +=============+ Doug: ...Martin. (buzz) Obviously, David, you weren't reading Ryan's mind. (pause) Hello! He used to host "Mindreaders"?!?!?! (audience laughs) Brian, help me out here. Brian: I wished the VP of the US was... **Dick Clark**. (ding; audience applause) Doug: Hey! Another match for David. And Chris, wrap this up for us. Chris W.: You're all but FORCING us to make remarks NOT suitable for 5th graders, ya understand. (audience laughs) Doug: Well, the audience's minds are in the gutter already. No need to encourage them. (more laughs) Chris W.: Don't know too many famous Di...er, Richards. (sickos react in accord) At first I had... +----------+ | VAN DYKE | +----------+ Chris W.: ...but I felt that nobody knew HIM...(tosses card away)... but nearly EVERYONE knows Dick... +-------+ | CLARK | +-------+ (ding; audience applause) Chris W.: In FACT, Doug, I attribute my 20-something looks to what I like to call "Dick Clark Syndrome". (audience laughs) Doug: Oh do you now? Picked your parents carefully, I take it.
PETTY | CLARK | BUTKUS
MARTIN | CLARK | CLARKDavid's response: CLARK
Doug: Well, that round was an adventure. David leads 300 to nothing. We'll take a break, gets some tranquilizers for a certain cross-section of the crowd... (audience laughs) ...and play Round 2 after this. (audience applauds; MG-HSH music plays)MG ROUND 2 BEGINS
