MG round1questionA
(audience cheers) (Doug presses button revealing Round 1 questions on the toaster) Doug: BTW, the designated champ has never played with us, too. So it's great to have three newcomers to our game. The winner of Hollywood Squares plays the Super Match where one question could be worth CY$50,000. Chris, you won the right to go first. I have two questions here marked A and B. Choose your question by letter and we'll get goin'. Chris S.: I'll take "A", please.
Doug: (grabs A) Oh, since you said "please", we'll let you play that one. (light laughter from the crowd) (Doug walks to panel) Doug: OK, new game, everyone plays. Google just announced another free service today that experts feel will get them their biggest traffic yet. Free << BLANK >> at the click of a mouse. (MG '7x wank think music plays)
(stars write) Chris W.: (as he writes; he mumbles...) So many answers...so few "definitive". Doug: Hey, it's par for the course in Round 1. Waiting on Dave to get in there.
Doug: OK, we're all set. Chris, the question again... Google just announced another free service today that experts feel will get them their biggest traffic yet. Free << BLANK >> at the click of a mouse." Chris S.: I know that this would get me interested. Free COFFEE. (smattering of applause) Doug: Regular or decaf? (light laughter from the crowd) Well, again, it's a Round 1 question. So anything goes. Will, we start with you. Will: Engineers have just figured out how to feed liquids through the computer! Now it's free BEER at the click of a mouse! (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: (impersonating Homer Simpson) Mmmm... beeeerrrrr. (audience laughs) Doug: Jay, over to you. Jay: Courtesy of Oprah herself. Free... +------+ | CARS | +------+ (buzz) (smattering of applause) Jay: Now THAT'S a lot of traffic! Doug: Yes it would - but no match. Over to Dave, now. Dave: Doug, this one's fairly easy to make a joke out of that can't be said in daytime television. Doug: Well, that's why we have censors. :) Dave: I went with the rhyme technique and said Google, having the billions they do, will give you a (flip) HOUSE for your mouse. (buzz) (smattering of applause) Dave: But remember, there's a combination of 3 numbers in order to... *glances around the stage* oh. Wrong show. (audience laughs) Doug: Net Dream House's pilot's taping next door. Over to Ryan now. Google just announced another free service today that experts feel will get them their biggest traffic yet. Free << BLANK >> at the click of a mouse." Ryan: As an homage to a classic Monty Python sketch... Google is giving away a free... +===========+ | Nude Lady | +===========+ Ryan: at the click of a mouse (buzz) (men in the audience hoot and holler over the idea of a free nude woman) Doug: Now that's what I call something completely different. (audience laughs) I'm sure a few men in the crowd will be logging on to Google during the break. (more laughs) Brian? Brian: If they want the "truthiness" and think they can handle it... **Pictures of Stephen Colbert**. (buzz) (a few applaud) Doug: Consider yourself on notice. And Chris, let's see if you match -- well -- Chris. Chris W.: Well, there's far too much of this on the web already... but not ENOUGH of it for FREE, in my opinion. Free... +------+ | PORN | +------+ ...at the click of a mouse! (buzz) (men in the audience hoot and holler over that idea) Doug: See, usually the sick minds are up here on stage -- not out there. (audience laughs)
BEER | CARS | HOUSE
NUDE LADY | PICS OF S. COLBERT | PORNChris S.'s response: COFFEE
Doug: Well, 'fraid ya struck out here. Better luck in the next round.MG ROUND 1 CONTINUES
