(cue MG-HSH theme)

The Ghost of Jay Stewart:
It's time for the...

...with our guests..

...from Net Bullseye
and Frank's World...
TOM HORNIKEL
AND FRANK

 

...from Net Price is Right...
JAY LEWIS

 

...star student...
KEVIN HEMANN

 

...from the Hollywood
Squares Webring...
MYSTIC GIRL

 

...from Net Lie, Cheat and Steal ...
JERRY DEPEW

 

...and the stars of
The Net Match Game -
Hollywood Squares Hour ...
RYAN MORRIS AND
DOUG MORRIS

(NMG-HSH sign rises; MG-esque doors open, Ryan and Doug are welcomed 
to an ecstatic crowd; walk down the stairs; shake hands)

Doug: Thank you, ghost of Jay Stewart.  Hellloooooo everybody, and
welcome to another Net Match Game - Hollywood Squares Hour. Last 
time we were together, we said goodbye to a very good and very
popular champion in Eddie Timanus.

Ryan: That's right, Doug.  He was defeated in HS -- but not before
taking us for a whopping CY$43,250. (audience cheers) That's one
of the highest totals in NMG-HSH history -- second to Greg Diener's
CY$48,500.

Frank: WOW! (audience laughs and applauds)

Doug: I see we'll be in for a fun time already.  In any event,
our new champion is John Menjes who currently has CY$9050 and 
will play the winner of MG.

Jay: Hey, Morris and Morris!

Doug: Yes, Jay.

Jay: Finally, a lady on the panel.  It's about time.

Ryan: Yes indeed, a warm welcome to the coordinator of the Hollywood
Squares webring, Mystic Girl.  (audience cheers)

Jay: Uh, guys, you realize you're breaking tradition here.

Doug: How's that?

Jay: Remember how Gene Rayburn welcomed the new female celebs to the 
panel?

Ryan: Oh, yeah, with a big ol' kiss.

Frank: RIGHT!  (audience laughs)

Doug: I tell you what.  Ryan, Jay, if you'd like to do the honors, go
ahead.  I'm just getting over a little bit of a cold.  (Ryan heads for 
"the Morris chair" on the bottom row; Jay fumbles around for his
breath spritzer)  Uh, while they resurrect tradition, I'm going to
go over here (Doug walks to MG players' desks) and say hello to our
challengers, Phil Levine and Rei Nakazawa.

 

 

(audience cheers)

Doug: Phil, welcome aboard, tell us a little about yourself.

Phil: I'm a frequent contestant plus I host the New Net Shoppers' 
Bazaar which is starting soon.

Doug: OK, we're glad you're with us.  And Rei, I know your bio since
you were on "that other show" with our champ, John.  But for the rest
of us, give us the Rei Nakazawa story in 10 simseconds.

Rei: Well, I've taken only one shot at the hosting job, with one of 
the 'Net Millionare games, but I'm an avid player, and right now I'm 
making my living writing for a major game company.

Doug: Life for you is a but a game, eh?  We'll see who you do in this
game against Phil.  Here's how it works.  We're playing MG PM style
with three chances to match as many of... our... (looks to panel)

 

 

 

Doug: ...uh... *seven* stars.  (audience laughs)

Tom: Don't worry Doug, Frank and I will team up for the questions.

Doug: Ah, OK, good.  Anyway, you wanna match as many stars as you can.
For each star you match, you collect a triangle and CY$100.  Collect
six triangles and we up the ante to CY$1000.  High score at the end
of the third inning wins Match Game and the right to play John Menjes
for the championship in Hollywood Squares where thousands are at 
stake.  (audience cheers)  And of course if you win the championship,
you'll shoot for a potential CY$30,000 payoff in the super match.
(audience cheers) (Doug pushes button on toaster, revealing the first
round MG questions)

MG ROUND 1 BEGINS