MG Round 1 Question A

 

 

(audience cheers) (Doug presses button revealing Round 1 questions
on the toaster)

Doug: Matt, you won the right to commence the proceedings.  Please do
so by picking A or B?

Matt: A please.

 

 

Doug: (grabs A; walks to panel) A it shall be then.  New game, everyone
on the panel's in on this one.

Chuck Norris said, "Come on, enough of these so-called 'facts' about me.  
I'm not going to be the next host of 'Jeopardy!'  That also means I'm 
not going to give a contestant a << BLANK >> for an incorrect question."

(audience laughs)  (think music plays) 

 

(stars write) 
 

 

Doug: All right, Matt, they're ready.  Let's see if you can score the
first match of the game.

Chuck Norris said, "Come on, enough of these so-called 'facts' about me.  
I'm not going to be the next host of 'Jeopardy!'  That also means I'm 
not going to give a contestant a << BLANK >> for an incorrect question."

Matt: Hmm. Punch.

((audience boos)

Doug: Well, that's not *too* bad an answer.  But there are much better
answer as I'm sure you're to see -- starting with Brian.

Brian: I love how I get to go first on this question. You know, a couple 
weeks ago, I just earned my 3rd Dan in Tae Kwon Do.
 
Doug: Really? 
 
(audience applause)

Doug: Congratulations. 

Brian: Yeah, totally serious. Been training 13 years, the only sport I 
have any skill in. So it only makes sense to me that ol' Chuck would give 
a *whap* KARATE CHOP to someone!

(buzz) (audience cheers) 

Doug: There ya go.  Matt, Chuck's more into the martial art moves than
the standard "hit or be hit" technique.  Chad, who has some experience 
in a "Jeopardy!" player's podia, what say ye?

Chad: Hiiiii-ya!

[KARATE CHOP]

(buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)

Doug: (backs away) Whatever you say.  Just don't hurt me.  I bruise easily.
(audience laughs)  Will?

Will: There's only one answer that really makes sense here in my mind, and
that's a [ROUNDHOUSE KICK].

(buzz) (audience cheers)

Doug: Now *that* was my answer.  Roundhouse kick to the face.  I think that's
his signature move.  Over to Ryan now.  Chuck Norris said, "Come on, enough 
of these so-called 'facts' about me.  I'm not going to be the next host of 
'Jeopardy!'  That also means I'm not going to give a contestant a 
<< BLANK >> for an incorrect question."

Ryan: (card)

+===========+
| A kick to |
| The Face  |
+===========+

(buzz) (audience cheers)

Doug: Basically the same as Will.  Not sure if they'd match each other.
Joe Kristoff, hello there, champ.

Joe K.:  Thanks for having me back here. I never  thought I'd guest on 
another 'netgame, let alone host.

Doug: Well, it's great to have you back here.  Show and tell time.

Joe K.: (looks at his card and sighs)  This would have been the 73,911,952nd 
time Western civilization would have ended. I'll gladly stick with 73,911,951 
times, thank you very much.

----------
| KARATE |
|  CHOP  |
----------

(buzz) (audience laughs and applauds)

Joe K.: However, I'll certainly accept any incentive for normal folk to start 
learning!

Doug: I hear ya champ.  And Joe Van Ginkel, wrap this up for us.

Joe V.G.: Glad to be back with you guys, Doug.  I said...

+----------+
|ROUNDHOUSE|
|   KICK   |
+----------+

(buzz) (audience applause)

Doug: Well, we had kicks and chops but no punches.

 

KARATE CHOP | KARATE CHOP| ROUNDHOUSE KICK
KICK TO THE FACE | KARATE CHOP | ROUNDHOUSE KICK

Matt's answer: PUNCH

 

 

Doug: Well, Matt, better luck in the next round. 

MG ROUND 1 CONTINUES