MG round1questionB

 

 

(audience cheers) (Doug presses button revealing Round 1 questions
on the toaster)

Doug: As always, the winner of Squares gets to play for CY$50,000
in the Super Match.  Steve, because of the irregularity, we're
letting you go first.  A or B?

Steve: I'll take B, Doug

 

 

Doug: (grab B) He takes B and we're off and running.  (walks
to panel)  New game, everyone on the panel plays.

If you thought Dumb Dora was dumb, you should see her sister.  
At least Dora is smart enough not to cut her toenails with a
<< BLANK >>.

(MG '7x wank think music plays)

 

 

 

 

 

(stars write)

(close up of Chris and his T-shirt: "NATURE ABHORS A VACUUM CLEANER")

Chris: Before you ask, Doug, I got a LOT of these shirts.  I know 
a guy.

Doug: Something tells me D.J. would want shirts like that.  Well,
while, they're writing, a couple of notes.  First, thanks to
Robert Pariseau -- who watches our show from Canada.  He wrote both
of the questions we're using in the first round.

And about Veronica Mosgrove.  She's one of my favorite former 
co-workers and she was in a recent Lifetime movie -- "Not Like
Everyone Else".  She played the part of a reporter and did a
great job.  

(audience applause)

 

 

 

 

 
Doug: OK, they're all set.  Steve, let's see if you can
draw first blood in the game.

If you thought Dumb Dora was dumb, you should see her sister.  
At least Dora is smart enough not to cut her toenails with a
<< BLANK >>.

Steve: I'm gonna say Bolt Cutters, Doug

Doug: Oh, my.  (audience applause)  Bolt cutters.  That's
-- painful.  But this is a Round 1 question.  So, anything
that cuts is a good answer.  Tom, nice to see you again.
We're starting with you.

Tom: (card) Hedge trimmer

(buzz) (smattering of applause)

Doug: Yeowch!  No match -- but probably just as painful.
Over to Jay Lewis.

Jay Lewis: You know Doug, the stage manager must have bought 
one of those knock-off GPS systems for his car. I mean, why 
else would he put Jay-Jay together?  (audience laughs)
JayJay, the DUMB choice in navigation!  (more laughs)

Doug: Speaking of which, we are making new nameplates for
these two in Hollywood Squares, right?  (stage manager
offstage nods yes)  Good -- because that gonna cause lots
of confusion if you don't.  Here, it's OK.  Jay, show us 
your card.

Jay: (card)

+-------+
| HEDGE |
| TRIM- |
|  MER  |
+-------+

(buzz)

Doug: Another hedge trimmer.  Now, over to Jay Converse.

Jay Converse:  I decided to go with a classic implement of 
overreaction to a situation... she tried to cut her nails 
with a CHAINSAW.

(buzz) (audience laughs)

Doug: Nothing like giving Jason from "Friday the 13th"
ideas.  (more laughs)  We've created a whole new career
for him.  Over to Ryan, now.   If you thought Dumb Dora was 
dumb, you should see her sister.  At least Dora is smart enough 
not to cut her toenails with a << BLANK >>.  Steve said, "bolt
cutters".  You say?

Ryan: (card)

+=======+
| Knife |
+=======+

(buzz) (smattering of applause)

Doug: Cuts like a knife -- but no score still for Steve.
David?

David: Well, I think anybody is smart enough not to with a 
PAIR OF SCISSORS...but this is the sister of Dumb Dora.

(buzz) (audience applause)

Doug: Now that was my answer.  Scissors.  Chris, last chance
for bolt cutters.

Chris: I went for a rather extreme tool for cutting toenails:

+----------+
| CHAINSAW |
+----------+

(buzz)

Doug: Another chainsaw -- but no bolt cutters as we review.

 

 

 

 

HEDGE TRIMMER | HEDGE TRIMMER | CHAINSAW
KNIFE | PAIR OF SCISSORS | CHAINSAW

Steve's response: BOLT CUTTERS

 

 

Doug: Don't worry, you'll have two more turns at bat, Steve.

MG ROUND 1 CONTINUES