[NOTE FROM DOUG: As noted earlier on the netgames Yahoo! Groups mailing list, for this Cyber-Phone Match, we drew a name at random out of those who voted in the Audience match instead of playing a qualifying question. Will Schmarder's name was drawn and we're going to see if he can win CY$25,000.] (audience applause; MG-HSH music plays) Rich: If you would like tickets to see the Net Match Game - Hollywood Squares Hour in person, send us a self addressed stamped envelope to...
Rich: ...and now, it's time for our second Cyber-Phone Match with Doug, Ryan, Jay and some of the crew from GSNN's We Love To Interrupt. (audience cheers)
Doug: Thanks, Rich. We've done it before, we'll do it again and let's see who's on the line this time. Will: Hi, Doug. It's Will Schmarder -- ready to play. (audience cheers) Doug: All right, Will. Good luck. Just for winning the right to play the Cyber-Phone Match, you instantly win CY$500 instantly. In a moment, I'll give the stars the fill-in-the-blank question -- the type we'd play in the main Match Game. Will, each time you score a match, you win an additional CY$100. But, if you run the table and match all nine, we'll augment your total winnings to CY$2500. Afterward, you'll then get to play a head-to-head Super Match question for ten times the cyber-cash you're about to rack up on this question. And here we go... (MCTYW plays) (audience laughs) Doug: Yup, we couldn't let this WLTI episode go with the Brainvision News Media Ho report... When this current fifth season of "The Apprentice" is complete, Donald Trump will bring "Trump Card" back to television. That's the good news. The bad news: The Donald already hired << BLANK >> to host. (MCTYW continues to play as celebs write) Don: So, just to be clear, the question calls for a host for "Trump Card", right? Doug: Yes it does.
Doug: OK, we're all set this time. Will, the question again... When this current fifth season of "The Apprentice" is complete, Donald Trump will bring "Trump Card" back to television. That's the good news. The bad news: The Donald already hired << BLANK >> to host. Will: Wow........ this is tough........ never seen "The Apprentice". (audience groans) Sorry, CS2001 fans. I will say Pat Bullard. (audience laughs and applauds) Doug: Pat Bullard, eh? If it's any consolation, I've never seen "Card Sharks" in its 2001 form. And from what I've read, I haven't missed a thing. So you haven't offended many -- but I sense you won't score any matches. Let's go through the formalities and see if anyone came up with Pat -- starting with Brian. Brian: Well the bad news is that the Donald already hired... [Omarosa] ...as host. (buzz) (audience cheers) Doug: That was my answer, oddly enough. Will, since you've never seen "The Apprentice", Omarosa was -- well -- I'll tell ya later. I'm afraid the censors would get on my case. (audience laughs) Don? Don: When I first heard it, I thought it meant for a new "Apprentice". And I could have joked that bringing Martha back would have let a big ol' rat out of the bag, so to speak, considering the recent news. Anyway, I went with... +++++++++++ + Himself + +++++++++++ (buzz) (audience cheers) Don: He's gotta continue feeding that ego of his somehow. Doug: That's another goodie, Don. Jason. Jason: Doug, this is the first I am actually speaking during this entire game. And I don't know if that's a good thing. (audience laughs) But I thought he wanted to create some controversy, he hired OMAROSA to host. (buzz) Doug: Another Omarosa. She'll create controversy on anything -- even "Trump Card". She'd make Anne Robinson look like a Girl Scout. But, no match as we go to the center row and Ryan Vickers. When this current fifth season of "The Apprentice" is complete, Donald Trump will bring "Trump Card" back to television. That's the good news. The bad news: The Donald already hired << BLANK >> to host. Ryan Vickers: Well Doug... I initially thought... +---------+ | MARTHA | | STEWART | +---------+ Ryan Vickers: but I figured you wanted someone Trump might like and that is horrible a game show host... so I then I thought +---------+ | PATRICK | | WAYNE | +---------+ Ryan Vickers: because I've never seen him host TTD '90 but I hear it was a train wreck. However! I finally settled on +---------+ | JOE | | ROGAN | +---------+ Ryan Vickers: because he is the best combination of the worst host I can think of for a quiz show that is a current media ho who doesn't have a job anymore. *phew* (audience laughs and applauds) (buzz) Doug: Once again, we're grateful to Jay for getting us that lifetime supply of blue cards. (more laughs) Speaking of Jay, what did you come up with? Jay: It's not a good thing Doug... +---------+ | MARTHA | | STEWART | +---------+ (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: Martha as a game show hostess. Interesting. Chico? Chico: The queen of all media hoes... Two words... +-----+ | OMA | +-----+ +-----+ |ROSA.| +-----+ (buzz) (audience laughs) Doug: That she is. Will, still no matches as we come to our Ryan. When this current fifth season of "The Apprentice" is complete, Donald Trump will bring "Trump Card" back to television. That's the good news. The bad news: The Donald already hired << BLANK >> to host. Ryan Morris: (card) +=========+ | Himself | +=========+ (buzz) Doug: Another Donald. Joe: Martha Stewart, of course. (buzz) Doug: Another Martha. Gordon, last chance for Pat Bullard. Gordon: This may not be the funniest answer, but it's the definitive one, since she is a professional Media Ho. ********************** * MARTHA STEWART * ********************** (buzz) Doug: Well, Will, sorry this didn't work out. No matches. And obviously, the matter of the instant 25-grand secret square is a moot point. However, who was sitting in the secret square this time?
OMAROSA | HIMSELF | OMAROSA
JOE ROGAN | MARTHA STEWART | OMA ROSA
HIMSELF | MARTHA STEWART | MARTHA STEWARTWill's response: PAT BULLARD
(buzz) Doug: Had you matched Jason "Beat The" Block, you would be playing for CY$25,000. However, you still play the head-to-head match for ten times the CY$500 you currently possess *OR*...
(ding) Doug: ...five-grand. Who do you want to help you out? Will: Oh, I'll try to match Ryan V.
Ryan V.: What a honour to be picked! Doug: Ryan Vickers, get ready to put marker to blue card. Will, get ready to match Ryan for CY$5000. As you know, we must have exact matching answers to this question...BREAK THE______ Doug: Break The << BLANK >>.
(ding) Doug: OK, Will. Ryan's ready with his answer. For CY$5000, how do you fill in the blank? "Break The << BLANK >>". Will: Only one thing comes to mind, and that's Break the Bank. (audience cheers) Doug: Audience concurs. But if Ryan Vickers concurs, you win a total of CY$5500. Ryan? Ryan V.: Gene Rayburn always said to go with your first instinct, so it'll have to be... (reveals card) BANK!
(audience applause; slot machine payoff sfx; MG-HSH win music plays) Doug: Nice job, Will. You broke *our* bank and we'll send that check for CY$5500 your way. Stay on the line. (MG-HSH theme plays) Doug: Folks, one more big hand for the We Love To Interrupt team. (audience cheers) Watch for them on GameShowNewsNet.com. Next time, we'll have three new players, more fun and games and hopefully more big payoffs. Until then, make it a great day, keep the faith and join us on that next NMG-HSH or else -- you're << BLANKED >>. Ryan Morris: I agree. WLTI members of the panel: GAAAAAAAAAAAAME OVER! (audience laughs and cheers) Rich: Some of our departing contestants will receive... Bedsack -- a new idea in bed coverings. Provides luxury upholestry for your old mattresses or box springs and protection for new. Furnished by Bedsack. A free rental of Rinse-N-Vac -- the do-it-yourself steam cleaning system. Rent Rinse-N-Vac and you'll get professional cleaning results at a fraction of the cost. Golden Grain Macaroni and Cheddar dinner. Made with enriched elbow macaroni, creamier cheddar cheese and other natural flavors. From the Golden Grain Macaroni Company. A&W Root Beer. Pour yourself a frosty one with rich and creamy A&W Root Beer -- and one-calorie, sugar-free A&W. The Con-Air Cord-Keeper hair dryer. If you hate cords tripping you up, you'll love the Cord-Keeper from Con-Air. Now available in travel size. And a member of our studio audience will receive the Vita Mix 3600 -- a stainless steel three-minute breadmaker and home yogurt factory. It juices without waste, cooks without burning, freezes instant ice cream and offers 800 great recipes. (credits roll)
