QMP I: Finals Round 1
(piano music plays as the following text is displayed in white on a black background...)
This championship episode of the first
Net Poker Quarter Million Playoff
is dedicated in loving memory to
Buddy Garrett
1959-2006
A.SILIKOVITZ A.GELLER 
Rich Jeffries: This is our 3rd seeded champion, Andy Silikovitz -- a professional Torah reader from New Jersey. Between his earlier appearances and the semi-final game, he has won a cyber-cash total of CY$190,000.
And this is our 4th seed, Andy Geller -- a stock broker from South Florida. His cyber-cash winnings from earlier appearances and the tournament total CY$136,850.
They have advanced to the final game of our tournament to play for the guaranteed top prize of CY$250,000. Welcome to the championship show of the Quarter Million Playoff -- on the card game where high hands can bring high rewards. This is Net Poker.
Rich: And now, from the Bonus Island Resort and Casino in Tunica, Mississippi, here are our host and dealer, Doug Morris and D.J. Hamilton!
(Doug walks out wearing the tuxedo from his recent wedding; D.J. walks alongside wearing a gold sequined dress)
Doug: Thank you Rich Jeffries and hellooooooooo, everybody.
Doug: Already, I can safely say all of you are *so* much better than the audiences we had for the last two shows combined. (audience laughs) Ladies and gentlemen, this is the night we've been waiting for. One of our finalists will take home CY$250,000.
D.J.: That's more than what I got in four divorce settlements.
Doug: You can count on Deej making ex-husband jokes like you can count on the swallows returning to Capistrano. In any event, to prove we have CY$250,000 at stake, let's welcome our guest co-hostess who's been with us for this mini-series. Here's Jess Harris.
(Jess walking out, wearing a dress similar to D.J.'s, holding the big CY$250,000 check) (audience cheers)
Jess: Here it is, everyone. The CY$250,000 grand prize check -- signed by the owner of the Bonus Island Resort and Casino here in Tunica -- Mr. Rich Mann.
D.J.: As you can see, we have it partially filled in on the payee line -- since both of our finalists share the same last name.
Doug: And let's quickly review how our finalists got here...
Doug: ...our first semi-final was the battle of New Jersey. Michael Clifford and Andy Silikovitz call the Garden State home. Andy won that game with CY$10,000.
Jess: The other semi-final was a South Florida showdown. John Menjes and Andy Geller reside in that part of the world. Andy the stock man prospered in that game with a winning score of CY$9500.
D.J.: And tonight's final has Andy versus Andy. Andy Silikovitz plays against Andy Geller for that big check for CY$250,000 -- and...
Doug: Don't give away the secret yet, Deej! (audience laughs) Jess, please head backstage and keep that check in a safe place. Deej, please head over to the cards board. We've got to crown a champion -- in the Quarter Million Playoff!
Doug: In case you've missed the semi-finals and don't know the tourney works -- well, first, where've ya been? (light laughter from the crowd) In the Quarter Million Playoff, we play three rounds of 5-Card Poker. Big difference is we play for cyber-cash instead of points and when a new round starts, the contestants add to their scores from the previous round.
For this first round, questions are worth CY$500 each, the blind-card question is worth CY$750 and we pay CY$1250 to the player who makes the better hand. Those values double in the final round.
The player with the high score at the end of the third round -- will have his score augmented to CY$250,000. (audience cheers) The runner-up in the tournament will have his score augmented to CY$25,000.
And the winning won't stop after the third round for both Andys -- we'll talk about that later. Before the show, Andy Silikovitz, who is seeded higher in this championship game, cut the cards for this first round. Let's see the first two cards from the deck...
D.J.: First up for the finals -- the Queen of Clubs and the Ace of Spades.
Doug: OK, guys, you've each defeated a fine opponent to reach this moment. I wish our finalists equal good luck and here's the first question of the championship game...
George Herbert Walker Bush was...
\ the 42nd President of these United States
\ once director of the CIA
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Andy Geller.
Andy Geller: I will say was... Once Director of the CIA
Doug: And I will say -- you have the finals' first CY$500.
A.SILIKOVITZ A.GELLER Doug: Former President Bush was number 41 in a series -- collect all 43. (light laughter from the crowd) Andy Geller, because you picked the right answer, you get to pick an up card.
Andy Geller: I will take the ACE of Spades
Doug: Ace goes to you -- which means Andy Silikovitz...
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: ...gets the Queen. Two more cards to come.
(a few "woos" from the crowd)
D.J.: The 10 of Hearts and the Jack of Spades.
Doug: Reason we got the woos from the audience is because if any finalist makes a royal flush naturally, he wins another CY$100,000 and a trip around the world. Back to business with this next question...
The Vulcan 800 is the name of a...
\ motorcycle
\ fighter plane
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Andy Geller
Andy Geller: I will say it is the name of a........ MOTORCYCLE.
Doug: Right again. (audience applause) It's manufactured by Kawasaki and endorsed by Jolene Blalock. (light laughter from the crowd) Gotta get my jokes out of the way early -- since this could turn serious later. Andy Geller, which card?
Andy Geller: I will take the Jack of Spades.
Doug: Another Spade for you...
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: ...another Spade higher than a 9 keeps our fourth seed alive for the trip around the world and another 100-grand. Next two cards.
D.J.: So much for a royal flush this time. Ace of Hearts and the 9 of Diamonds.
Doug: Huh-kay. Another CY$500 question. Andy Silikovitz, let's see if you can get on the board.
Herman Tarnower was...
\ the creator of The Scarsdale Diet
\ once the mayor of Scarsdale, New York
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Andy Silikovitz.
Andy Silikovitz: the creator of The Scarsdale Diet
Doug: That'll get you on the board.
A.SILIKOVITZ A.GELLER Doug: You're in the chips and get to pick a card.
Andy Silikovitz: the ace
Doug: Denying the other Andy a pair of rockets...
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: ...also taking him out of contention for a straight. Two more cards, please.
D.J.: The 10 of Clubs and the King of Diamonds.
Doug: Hmm... interesting. Next question...
Actor Paul Reubens was ...
\ a winner on The Gong Show
\ in his Pee-Wee Herman role while hosting the TV version of You Don't Know Jack
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Andy Silikovitz
Andy Silikovitz: a winner on "The Gong Show"
Doug: Right for the tie.
Doug: (looks at question card) There's a joke they actually wrote for me... (tosses card away) ...but I'm *so* not going there. (audience groans) OK, I'll tell ya during the break. Which card, Andy Silikovitz?
Andy Silikovitz: I want the 10
Doug: And he gets a pair out of that...
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: ...Andy Geller hopes to draw another King, Ace or Jack on this, our blind card question...
Doug: ...worth CY$750. Remember the high hand's worth CY$1250. So, the player who makes the better hand will have the lead at the end of this round. Good luck, play carefully, here we go...
"Brett Butler" is the actual first and last name of...
\ an actress who co-starred in the TV series The Jeff Foxworthy Show
\ a former major leaguer who played with the Cincinnati Reds
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Andy Geller.
Andy Geller: I am going to say .... None of the Above
Doug: Right for 750.
A.SILIKOVITZ A.GELLER Doug: The actress was on Grace Under Fire and our sources indicate her real last name is "Anderson". The other Brett was a member of the Braves, Indians, Giants, Dodgers and Mets. Andy Geller's a Mets fans, I know, and know gets to choose one of the blind cards.
Andy: I will take the LEFT Card
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: Left card's yours and now we're about to see who'll win an extra CY$1250. Andy, let's see your last card first.
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: Yuck! You've got Ace high. Andy Silikovitz who was building on one pair of 10s will win the 1250.
A.SILIKOVITZ A.GELLER Doug: What was the last card for our current leader?
ANDY SILIKOVITZ
ANDY GELLER
Doug: Oh, the dreaded catch-22 for Andy G. (smooth jazz theme plays) Well, we have a close score after one round of play. Andy S. leads by CY$500. Come back for Round 2 in the finals of the Net Poker Quarter Million Playoff.
ADVANCE TO ROUND 2
