[NOTE FROM DOUG: This is the series finale of Net Poker. Since we owe someone a rematch, the decision was made just to have that challenger and the champion play this final main game.
Going forward, some, or all, elements of Net Poker may be used in a future net game production of mine -- likely including, but not limited to, the puzzle-style Q&A game play used in recent years.
Thanks for your support of Net Poker over this past decade.]
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(opening seconds of "Still the Same" by Bob Seger plays over clips of
previous episodes of Net Poker)
D.J.: From all of us at Net Poker...
Doug: ...thank you.
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Scarlett: From CDM Enterprises, a division of Trax Productions, it's the card game where the high hand can bring a reward as high as CY$1,000,000. Celebrating ten years on VBS, this is Net Poker.
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Scarlett: And now, here's our host, Doug Morris!
(Doug walks out from behind the video poker screen)
(more cheers; standing ovation from the crowd)
Doug: Ohhh -- thank you. Thank you very much. Hello everybody -- and welcome to our final episode of Net Poker. We're going to ride off into the sunset -- knowing we created one of few net games to last at least a decade.
Doug: Net Press Your Luck lasted a decade. Net Price is Right, of course, is part of the ten-year club. Net Match Game - Hollywood Squares -- *fifteen* years.
(audience cheers) Doug: All that -- thanks to your support. Thanks also go to marvelous cast and crew members -- including our dealer -- D.J. Hamilton.
(D.J. walks out wearing a black one-piece swimsuit, white tuxedo jacket and top hat -- similar, but not exactly, to the ones she wore in the series debut)
Doug: Ahh -- a throwback uniform of sorts.
D.J.: Sure, why not? End the way we started.
Doug: Well, who's here for the final show?
D.J.: We're bringing back the contestants who played in Joker Poker from the last show. David Hammond returns with CY$2800 -- and the big winner from the last show, Andy Silikovitz, with CY$431,375, including a new car.
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Doug: Thanks, Deej. We'll see you later in the show. And let me explain why we're having just two players tonight instead of three.
We had a production error in that Joker Poker round -- and there's a chance it may have affected the outcome of the game. Then came the announcement we're signing off.
So -- the best thing to do was just let the two of them play -- and then let each of them play a bonus round of Deuce Wild.
Doug: So, please allow me to go further into the format for this final game. Both Andy and David play Video Poker -- *and* 5-Card Poker. If one of them sweeps both rounds, he wins the game right there and then. If each player wins a round after 5-Card Poker, we'll go to Joker Poker to crown our final champion.
The winner of this game plays the CY$1,000,000 version of Deuces Wild Poker.
Doug: The runner-up plays for CY$75,000 and a new car in Deuces Wild. So we hope both of you leave here big winners -- and we're starting with...
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Doug: ...Video Poker -- and the theme is What's In A Name? Today's name is Ashton Kutcher.
I'll ask you a series of questions. The correct answer to each question is made up of letters you'll find in Ashton Kutcher's first name, last name or both. A sample question...
What name shared by "the godfather of sax" and a fictional pet detective is also the highest ranked card in our deck?
...the right answer here is "Ace" -- there's an "A" in "Ashton" -- and a "C" and "E" in Kutcher. Let's spot each player 10 points.
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Doug: Each time you chime in with a right answer, you score 10 more points. But if you buzz in with a wrong answer, we take 10 points away.
Good luck -- and away we go.
Complete this statement: The 2012 NBA championship was won by the Miami...
Doug: Andy.
Andy: Heat.
Doug: And much to this Spurs fan's chagrin, the Heat won this year as well. You're right, Andy.
Doug: Can we call a writer's meeting? (audience laughs) Too late? Darn!
If you're trying to make peace with an enemy, you're said to bury what small ax?
Doug: Andy again.
Andy: Hatchet.
Doug: Right again.
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Doug: May take a good long while for me to bury the hatchet with the scribes after that Miami Heat question.
In a cop show from the '80s and early '90s as well as reunion movies and a brief series revival, give me the last name of the TV title role played by Fred Dryer.
Doug: David.
David: Hunter
Doug: That's right.
Doug: Andy still at 30, David up to 20. Next question.
In the story of Pinocchio, what part of his body grew whenever he told a lie?
Doug: Andy.
Andy: Nose.
Doug: That's it.
Doug: I hate to think what the survey would say if this question came up on "Family Feud". (audience laughs) All right, one more question -- and this question involves the name we've been playing with.
Even though they have since divorced, complete this statement: In the year 2005, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore tied the...
Doug: David.
David: Knot
Doug: That's right.
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Doug: All right. Good close game 40 to 30 in Andy's favor. Deej, what's --
(Doug catches D.J. on her cell phone)
D.J.: Yeah, I thought it was weird, too. Oh -- uh. (audience laughs) Honey, we'll talk later. Gotta get back to work. Love you.
(D.J. hangs up) (more laughs)
Doug: Jesse Metcalfe again?
D.J.: Oh, he's yesterday's news.
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D.J.: Anyway, Andy and David, behind these numbers are the Ace through 9 of each of the four suits. Each of you may take up to two consecutive turns at the video screen. On your first turn, you may select up to five numbers and we'll reveal the cards hidden behind the numbers.
If you like the hand you've made, take its value in points and pass control to another player. If you want to try to improve your hand, you may exchange some or all cards for new ones.
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D.J.: Remember, you need something better than just one pair of Jacks to score any points at all -- or else you lose five points.
Doug: And remember a natural royal flush in this or any other round of Net Poker means you win a bonus of CY$1,000,000.
Doug: And wouldn't it be great if we had a millionaire on our last show? It would also be great if we had a hostess who'd *pay attention*!
Doug: David, since this is the final show, we'll let you send shout outs to friends and loved ones here.
David: Well, how ironic is this. I was Net Poker's very first contestant, and now I'm Net Poker's very last contestant. Applause to the staff and writers over the years that made the game what it became.
Doug: Thanks for the kind words. That's right, he was a contestant on the pilot episode. And he's here to help wrap things up. Oh, by the way, before I forget -- last one out -- turn out the lights.
Doug: David, five numbers, please.
David: Let's go Backgammon on the board and give me the starting positions for Red plus one. 3, 6, 8, 13, and 24.
Doug: All right, let's see if those Backgammon numbers work.
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(FF reveal sfx) (scattered cheers)
Doug: Hey now! Three Jacks. David, trips are worth 15 points if you stop here. You do have a second turn to take if you want to take it.
David: Well I still get 15 points out of it either way, throw out the queen and king. Let's go with 1 and 12.
Doug: All right, if 1 or 12 hides the Jack of Spades, he'll have more than 100 points and an extra letter to play with in the Poker Run. Show us what's behind 1 and 12.
VIDEO POKER CONTINUES
