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D.J.: ...*real* facts about action star Chuck Norris. Not those "joke facts" you've seen and heard all over. Doug will give you a question and four possible answers. The last two choices in each question are the ones you're familiar with -- "all of the above" and "none of the above". Chime in and choose the right answer to earn 10 points. After five questions, we'll try to *kick* up your scores at the video screen.
(light laughter from the crowd)
Doug: Cute, Deej. *Real* cute. Good luck and let's play.
Chuck Norris was born in...
\ the state of Texas
\ Texas City
\ all of the above
\ none of the above
Doug: Jay.
Jay: the state of Texas
Doug: Not right. Robert or Eddie? (Robert buzzes in) Robert.
Robert: None of the above?
Doug: That's right.
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Doug: Chuck was born in Ryan, Oklahoma. Champ off to a good start, next question for all...
The cast of the movie The Delta Force includes Chuck Norris and...
\ Lee Marvin
\ Martin Balsam
\ all of the above
\ none of the above
Doug: Robert.
Robert: Martin Balsam
Doug: Nope. Anyone else? (Jay buzzes in) Jay.
Jay: None of the above
Doug: Also incorrect. Eddie, chance to take 10 if you can tell me.
Eddie. Lee Marvin
Doug: No, sorry. "All of the above" is the right answer. Martin Balsam and Lee Marvin joined Chuck in the cast. Our crack staff notes this was Lee Marvin's final appearance in a film. Robert still leads by 10. Here's the next question on Chuck.
The cartoon series Karate Kommandos...
\ featured Chuck Norris as himself in animated form
\ lasted five seasons
\ all of the above
\ none of the above
Doug: Robert.
Robert: All of the above
Doug: Not right; sorry. Jay or Eddie? (Eddie buzzes in) Eddie.
Eddie: Ooh, I was gonna say that. I'll try -- featured Chuck Norris as himself in animated form.
Doug: That's right.
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Doug: Chuck also appeared in "live action form" at the open and close of each show. And the series lasted only five *episodes*. OK, Jay, let's see if you can make this a three-way tie.
Chuck Norris made an in-studio cameo appearance in a broadcast network prime time episode of the game show...
\ The Price is Right
\ (Super) Jeopardy!
\ all of the above
\ none of the above
Doug: Robert.
Robert: The Price is Right
Doug: Correct.
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Doug: Chuck was on hand to help celebrate the 80th birthday of one of his students, Bob Barker. Ya know, it would be kinda cool if Chuck made a cameo appearance on this show.
("Walker, Texas Ranger" quickie open theme plays) (Chuck Norris himself, dressed in his Texas Ranger uniform, enters from stage left)
(cut to shots of audience cheering and gives him a standing ovation)
(cut to Chuck waving to crowd, tipping his hat and taking a quick bow)
Doug: Oh, sure, you don't really mean all that. You just don't want to be Chuck's next victim!
(audience and Chuck laugh)
Chuck: Listen, Doug, may I ask the last question?
Doug: (runs quickly to Chuck; hands him card) Anything you say, Mr. Norris. (dashes back) (audience laughs)
Chuck: OK, contestants, final question before the second half of Video Poker...
Reruns of Walker, Texas Ranger currently air on...
\ USA Network
\ Hallmark Channel
\ all of the above
\ none of the above
Chuck: Jay.
Jay: All of the above
Chuck: You are correct.
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Doug: Chuck's also in negotiations to have reruns air on Lifetime, Spike, FX, Discovery Channel, ... (audience laughs) ...GSN, TNT, the list goes on.
Chuck: Doug, before I go...
Doug: (looking nervous) Yes, sir? (audience laughs)
Chuck: ...I do want a chance to clear up one of those so-called "facts" about me.
Doug: Certainly, sir. Anything you say.
Chuck: With this being Net Poker, I do want to correct that factoid about me winning the World Series of Poker.
Doug: Oh, I remember that. It's the one where you were holding the Deuce of Clubs, Seven of Spades, a green 4 from an Uno deck, a "Get out of jail free" card from Monopoly and the Joker.
Chuck: That is *totally* incorrect!
Doug: Well, thank you for clearing tha...
Chuck: I actually won with the 2 of Hearts, 7 of Diamonds, the "bank error in you favor" card from Monopoly, a red 6 from Uno and a fool card from a tarot deck.
(Doug, D.J. and audience laugh; audience applauds)
Doug: Chuck Norris everyone.
("Walker, Texas Ranger" closing theme, with Chuck's vocals, plays)
(audience gives another standing "O" to Chuck as he exits the studio)
(then absolute silence for about five seconds)
D.J.: Uh, Doug.
Doug: Yes?
D.J.: Aren't you going to recap the scores?
Doug: Yeah -- I just want to listen out and see if Chuck will clean someone's clock on the way out. (audience laughs) At the end of the first half of Video...
(two men heard screaming in the background) (crash sfx) (more laughs and applause)
Doug: ...I rest my case. (more laughs) As I was saying, Robert's our champion with the lead and 30 points, the challengers are tied at 20. Let's go ahead and move on to the second half with our black belt, D.J.
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D.J.: This all comes in handy if a guy tries to get fresh with me. (audience laughs) Players, behind the 24 numbered spaces, we have the cards Ace through 9 from each of the four suits. In a moment, you'll choose five numbers and make a poker hand out of the cards behind your selections.
If you're happy with that combination, take the points associated with that hand and pass control to another player. But if you want a second chance, exchange any or all cards for new ones. But after your second chance, you're stuck with whatever points are associated with that hand.
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D.J.: A pair of Jacks or less -- or no pair at all -- means a loss of 5 points; a pair of Queens, Kings or Aces means we add 5 to your score; two pairs are worth 10 points; three of a kind is worth 15; a straight, 20; a flush, 25; full house for 40; four of a kind for 125; a straight flush means 250 and the royal flush adds 1000 points to your total.
Doug: And anytime you make a natural royal flush in this or any other round, you'll win this.
Rich: For your driving enjoyment, IT'S A BRAND NEW SUV! (audience cheers) The Land Rover LR3 -- offering luxury, prestige, on-road handling and offroad prowess. Come with a 3.9L Rover V8 engine, AM/FM/CD stereo and much more.
(music fades)
Doug: OK, thanks, Rich. Normally our last place player goes first. But there's a tie between Jay and Eddie. Player to the left goes first. Jay that's you. But before you make your selections, tell us a little about yourself.
Jay: I am 18 years old, a recent high school graduate, and I will be attending Felician College this Fall as an Elementary Education major.
Doug: Ah, well good luck in your studies and good luck here at the video screen. Five numbers, please.
Jay: I'll take 2, 5, 9, 12, and 23
Doug: Very well. Let's see if those numbers are hiding something good.
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Doug: Well, the Queens would give you 5 points. If you stopped here, you'd at least have to hope Robert would lose 5 and Eddie wouldn't do so well on his possession. Of course, you may take your second turn and hope for something better. What's your pleasure?
Jay: I'll exchange 2, 5, and 23 for 6, 15, and 13
Doug: OK, holding on the Queens and assuring yourself of a nickel. What's joining the Queens?
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Doug: Another Queen! Good for 15 points.
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VIDEO POKER CONTINUES
