Game 26's Joker Poker====================================================================== (opening to "Ghost Riders In The Sky" by the Outlaws plays) Chuck Norris: (dressed in his Texas Ranger uniform) If I named Jane Seymour, Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr, would you know they were wives of King Henry VIII? If I gave you the song lyric, "She would never say where she came from", would you know the next line is, "Yesterday don't matter if it's gone"? And would you be able to correctly spell the word represented by the letters "OB" in "OB/GYN"? Well -- you better! (fade to graphic)
(vacation music plays) (D.J. Hamilton, her daughter Terri and Jess Harris -- each wearing a grass skirt and floral print bikini -- dance the hula in front of a bunch of palm trees)
Rich: Welcome back to Net Poker. It's time for the Joker Poker championship round of the main game between Dustin Riley and Robert McBride. One of them could win CY$10,000 and a cruise of the Hawaiian Islands.
(audience cheers) (video montage of Hawaii plays)
Rich: Islands of sugar canes, exotic flowers, coconuts and breath-taking sunsets await the champion of our main game. If successful in the prize game, he and a guest will fly round trip coach to Honolulu -- where they will board the S.S. Independence for an unforgettable seven-day cruise from one beautiful island of Hawaii to another. Compliments of American Hawaii Cruises. Back to you, Doug
Doug: Thanks, Rich. Note to my wife: Notice how I'm here and the island girls are clear over there. (audience laughs) In case you missed it, during this Quarter Million Playoff mini-series, we've been playing the main game with these two players and Matt Taylor.
DUSTIN ROBERT 
Doug: Dustin won the first round of Video Poker, Robert eliminated Matt in 5-Card Poker and now we play Joker Poker for the championship.
Guys, thanks for your patience and please excuse the mess. (audience laughs) After all, this sort of thing happens when you give 250-grand away. Confetti and balloons all over the place.
Dustin cut the cards for this round and let's see the first two cards -- as we say "aloha" to D.J. (light laughter from the crowd)
D.J.: The Queen of Spades and the 10 of Hearts.
Doug: OK, 10 points per question 'til the 15-point blind card query -- and then high hand's for 25. First question of the round.
Actor David Schwimmer...
\ was Chandler on Friends
\ turned down the role that eventually went to Will Smith in Men In Black
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Robert.
Robert: Turned down the role that eventually went to Will Smith in "Men in Black"
Doug: That's right.
DUSTIN ROBERT Doug: Good start, Robert. Which card?
Robert: Queen me.
Doug: Queen's yours...
DUSTIN
ROBERT
Doug: ...and Dustin gets the 10.
D.J.: Hey, the Joker and the Queen of Clubs.
Doug: Wow -- it's been *eons* since I've seen a Joker, seemingly. (light laughter from the crowd) Next question...
Freddy Krueger was the name of...
\ the bogeyman in the Friday the 13th movies
\ a kid who bullied Wes Craven in their grade school days
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Robert.
Robert: A kid who bullied Wes Craven in their grade school days
Doug: That's the one. (audience applause) You've got the lead and the choice -- as if I didn't know which card you'll take.
Robert: Joker!!!
Doug: No kiddin'!
DUSTIN
ROBERT
Doug: ...Dustin collects a Queen out of that deal. Two more cards, Deej.
D.J.: The Ace of Hearts and the 9 of Hearts.
Doug: All right. Dustin, let's see if you can get on the board with this.
"Nova Scotia" is...
\ the name of a Canadian province
\ Latin for New Scotland
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Robert again.
Robert: All of the above.
Doug: That's right.
DUSTIN ROBERT Doug: Which card, Robert?
Robert: Gotta take the Ace.
Doug: Thought ya might.
DUSTIN
ROBERT
Doug: Dustin, you're going to have to make a move here. Two more cards, please.
D.J.: The 10 of Diamonds and the Ace of Spades.
Doug: Very well. Next questions all about colors.
The colors red, yellow, green and blue are all important in the game...
\ Uno
\ Twister
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Robert.
Robert: Twister?
Doug: Oh no. Dustin, golden chance to make a move. (time passes) (buzz) Answer's "all of the above". Red, yellow, green and blue are all colored spots on the playing mat -- and in Uno, the number cards and the non-wild action cards are represented collectively by those colors. No harm, no foul, same cards remain, new question...
The Simpsons regularly features a character named...
\ Bart
\ Ashlee
\ all of the above
\ none of the aboveDoug: Robert.
Robert: Bart!
Doug: Got it. (audience applause) Thank our lucky stars Ashlee or Jessica's not on that show.
(light laughter from the crowd)
Jess Harris: What?
(more laughter)
Doug: Oh, Jessica *Simpson* -- not Harris. Should've clarified. Robert, with a 40 to nothing lead, I think I know where this is going -- but I have to ask which card?
Robert: Need another Ace...
Doug: And with that...
DUSTIN
ROBERT
Doug: ...Dustin, I'm afraid I have bad news. Robert at worst has three Aces and the best you can do is three tens. In addition, we'd normally play out the blind card in this situation -- and attach a chance at CY$250. But, we're pressed for time.
So, here's what we're going to do. First, may we see what would've been the blind cards -- face up?
D.J.: We had a Jack of Spades and the other Joker.
Doug: Well, the best case scenario again would've three 10s for Dustin and three Aces for Robert.
We'll give each of you CY$250 for the cancellation of the bonus question and since we're essentially cancelling the 15-point blind card question, I'll give Dustin the 15 points and Robert 25 because he would've ended up with the high hand either way.
DUSTIN ROBERT Doug: So, the game is over and Robert McBride's our champion. (winning bells; audience applause) Robert, you won the first game of the first season of Net Poker and as we embark on our second season, you're a winner again. Stand by for your chance at CY$10,000 and the Hawaii vacation in a bit.
Dustin, in addition to the CY$250, we just gave you another CY$150 for the 15 points we gave you. Total of CY$13,650 and our thanks for playing.
Doug: OK, Robert. New champ. You get to pick two letters in the word "POKER".
Robert: P and O.
Doug: As in if you find small numbers you'll be... ya know. (light laughter from the crowd) Behind P and O we find...
Doug: Well. Ya got 5000 and another 750 to boot. Now, let's see if you can get on that boat that will cruise Hawaii.
SELECT HIGHER CARD
Doug: Video screen has dealt you the Jack of Hearts and four other cards. Above the numbers, there's a prompt "select higher card". At least one of those numbers hides a card higher than a Jack. Find one higher card and you're off to Hawaii. Pick a number.
Robert: #1.
Doug: Numero uno. Is the card behind it higher than the Jack?
SELECT HIGHER CARD
Doug: Nope -- a 9. Where did he need to go for Hawaii?
SELECT HIGHER CARD
Doug: It was 3.
DUSTIN ROBERT Doug: CY$6850 to build on in Deuces Wild Poker. Robert will play that endgame for CY$82,500. But when we come back, Andy Silikovitz plays for CY$100,000. We're heading into the homestretch of our time in Tunica -- on Net Poker.
(audience cheers) (various shots of nightlife around Tunica)
ADVANCE TO QMP'S DEUCES WILD
